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Our new kit requires 3D glasses

You may have heard murmurings of something afoot in the cyclosphere. Something revolutionary. Something trans-dimensional. It’s no small secret that JVA has many specialists in our employ: Soothsayers, cat rustlers, hammock consultants, and advanced technical fabric imagineers. The fabric imagineers have been particularly busy as…

Help our friend Mat.

Our good friend Mat suffered an accident at the short track race this week, and now he’s paralyzed from the waist down. I’ve rewritten that sentence like twelve times and it still makes me fucking ill. Because I think we all know that things like…

Knock-Knock-Knockin’ on Heaven’s Gate

I’m going to come right out and say it: I love me some End Times. The pageantry, the potential for amphibian-based weather phenomena, the suddenly driverless Hummers. It all gives me an uh-oh feeling in my bathing suit area. That’s why I was especially stricken…

JVA Soundbite Bounty Hunter Challenge 2012

It’s that time of year again. That magical time when the hills are dappled with all the colors of the rainbow. When creatures great and small crawl out of their winter burrows to sniff the air and also the butts of potential mates. When bright…

Shit Just Got Digital

I’m a Luddite at heart.  Keypunch cards, Pac-Men, Babbage’s Analytical Engine, Roombas: All the devil’s playthings. If I can’t whittle it myself, I don’t trust it.  How, you may ask, do I administer JVA’s vast digital empire while eschewing contact with the  very machines of…

Lights! Camera! Action Wipes!

The Universe works in crazy, mysterious ways. Dateline: Yesterday. Yours truly was bemoaning the cycling-related schmutz I accumulate during rides. I’m not overly perspirational, but I know how to get an honest day’s work out of a subaceous gland. If you’ve got time to lean,…

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