Our Blog

When I Die, Book Me Passage on the Soul Train

Tailwinds, Don Cornelius. You were mighty mighty funky funky. May you start this next journey on the Goodfoot.

Difficult Brown

Every hero needs a faithful mount. Alexander the Great had Bucephalus, Atreyu had Falcor, and Billy Joel had (for a brief, shining moment) Christie Brinkley. And now, JVA has Difficult Brown. We have christened her The Paisley Shitmissile. The Fortnight Falcon. She is 26 feet…

Wu Tang Bike Bell

The only Method we use to tell people we’re coming up on them. Play the bell sound:

Branded like cattle

We’ve never said no to a free tattoo. Of course, we’ve never won anything either.  

Mud, ‘hawks, and ballyhoo: The Last Crusade

Um…Is that it? I mean, don’t get me wrong. You are one hot romp in the sack, Cross Crusade. I just thought it would, I don’t know, last a little longer. We only got through one Barry White song, the Zima wasn’t even cold yet,…

It hurts when I httpee

If you visited our site recently, you may have been warned by Google to stay away. It’s painful to talk about. But I want to be honest with you, blog reader. We had internet herpes. It’s not that big of a deal. Like… 79% of…

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