All business. All the time.

Our Team.

  • Shreddit Consultation Cards
    Sometimes it’s important to get in touch with the public, and increase their awareness of your ability to shred it. Rather than record these sessions in a blank notebook, we made some cards to streamline the process. While in the process of shredding it, one…
  • JVA Blend coffee – Red E Cafe
    Roasted to perfection by the fine folks at the Red E Cafe in Portland, the JVA blend will jack you all up in all the right ways. We’re not going to just throw a bunch of beans in a personalized bag and keep them on…
  • 3D Team cap with glasses
    With the cooperation of Pactimo Cycling Apparel, JVA imagineered honest-to-god 3-D clothing. Simply don any garden-variety pair of 3D glasses and experience the magic of paisley cogs flying towards your eyeholes like so many bits of vaporized great white shark. JVA in 3D: Terrible Race…
  • JVA Cateye Strada
    Say it loud, we’re binary-curious and we’re proud. In order to cash in on this whole computering thing the kids are talking about, JVA is proud to present the Team Edition CatEye Strada Wireless cyclocomputer. It comes in two flavourways: Team JVA and Jahvahaah Internationale.…
  • JVA Team Caps
    The hats are full sublimated and made of sporty fabric that doesn’t get all bunched up under your helmet and doesn’t go all wonky when you wash it. BUY IT!
  • Royal Tendon Balm Embro
    Our custom embrocation is ready. Do you need embrocation? I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. Do you want our embrocation? Yes, you do. And trust me, because I’m a doctor. Our embrocation smells of bergamot, which is England-talk for “spicy”, and will give you…
  • Flavor Flaps
    Amid the freezing downpour and hypothermia-induced hysteria of this miserable Spring, we had a Eureka moment: Anyone who’s ridden in the Pacific Northwest knows the joy of getting a face full of roadspray from the rear wheel of the chum in front of you. Yes,…
  • Taint Paint
    It’s well known by those who know that Jens has a tungsten-carbide taint. He’ll stick a piece of 46 grade emery cloth to his race chamois because he likes the tickle. For the rest of us mere mortals, there’s JVA Taint Paint. Hand-crafted by nubile…
  • JVA Mugs
    Here at JVA Industries there are a few things about which we are particularly particular: We like our Van Halen à la Lee Roth, our Bewitched in the Dick York Darrin-way, and our caffeine-delivery vessels bespoke. We’re not going to pour that ebony nectar of…