If friends are the family we choose, then group rides are the family vacations no one wants to choose. Ownership. Commitment. Deciderating. These are words. Maybe even some of them. Some of them may be made up. You’ll never know. And stringing them together in…
Breaking Away Bad
We can all agree that off-season training is miserable, so we choose to multitask and combine it with our second favorite activity: COOKING METH. US Postal had Ferrari. JVA has Walter White. We call this workout the Heisenberg Uncertainty Interval. Breaking Away Bad from Jens Voigt's Army…
Summer Etiquette Ride Guide
Christ, people. Do we have to go through this again? It seems like only yesterday I was 1) asked to change my underwear, and 2) forced to address simple ride etiquette. Every summer it’s the same fucking routine. Sun comes out. The first Versus crash…
2012 SUPER RELAX Bocce Throwdown
Armed with only a box of wine, a Costco cheesecake and a watermelon flavored Four Loko, JVA set out to defend our SUPER RELAX Bocce Throwdown title on Friday. And we lost. We lost huge. Luckily, we don’t remember much of it. We have only these photos to try and piece together what happened.
Big thanks for Super Relax for organizing the event again. It’s always a great time with super fun people. Congrats to the hosts for finally winning the damn thing. Congrats to Grundel for finally winning a fucking game. And congrats to Team Beer for everything Badger did. All night.
Waldo Lake
Megatron, Goggles and Complaymen met up with the Ross-tafarian for a weekend of riding at Waldo lake. Mountains were bikes. Mosquitos were fed. Skinnies were dipped. Maps were consulted. And photos were taken.
Our new kit requires 3D glasses
You may have heard murmurings of something afoot in the cyclosphere. Something revolutionary. Something trans-dimensional. It’s no small secret that JVA has many specialists in our employ: Soothsayers, cat rustlers, hammock consultants, and advanced technical fabric imagineers. The fabric imagineers have been particularly busy as…
Help our friend Mat.
Our good friend Mat suffered an accident at the short track race this week, and now he’s paralyzed from the waist down. I’ve rewritten that sentence like twelve times and it still makes me fucking ill. Because I think we all know that things like…
Knock-Knock-Knockin’ on Heaven’s Gate
I’m going to come right out and say it: I love me some End Times. The pageantry, the potential for amphibian-based weather phenomena, the suddenly driverless Hummers. It all gives me an uh-oh feeling in my bathing suit area. That’s why I was especially stricken…
JVA Soundbite Bounty Hunter Challenge 2012
It’s that time of year again. That magical time when the hills are dappled with all the colors of the rainbow. When creatures great and small crawl out of their winter burrows to sniff the air and also the butts of potential mates. When bright…
Shit Just Got Digital
I’m a Luddite at heart. Keypunch cards, Pac-Men, Babbage’s Analytical Engine, Roombas: All the devil’s playthings. If I can’t whittle it myself, I don’t trust it. How, you may ask, do I administer JVA’s vast digital empire while eschewing contact with the very machines of…
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