It’s well known by those who know that Jens has a tungsten-carbide taint. He’ll stick a piece of 46 grade emery cloth to his race chamois because he likes the tickle. For the rest of us mere mortals, there’s JVA Taint Paint.
Hand-crafted by nubile wood nymphs in JVA’s secret Oregon research facility, JVA Taint Paint is like a tender smooch to your saddle-weary gooch. Available in whimsical Bacon-Cheddar and Salmon Mousse flavour, and in both coarse and fine grit.
JVA Taint Paint: Don’t let the road do a number on your chode.
Oh, and we’re really going to make this. Seriously. We are in with the Oregon hippie skincare mafia, and they totally have our backs. Check back for details on where and how to buy.
